Ok buckle on in, because if you know me, you know I can’t make it short & sweet (even for a 5”2 short girly).
So, on the 7th September 2015, my life changed forever. Throughout my teenage years from the ages of 13-17 I developed a condition that quite literally took over my body. After suffering with severe body image issues, mental health problems and extremely low self-confidence, I never felt good enough, I felt alone, misunderstood and really didn’t know how to love myself. It impacted all areas of my life, and alone be hold to the younger version of me, it continued to impact my relationships, my work & my life well into my 20’s.
But on the 8th September 2015 I walked out of that hospital in what felt like a brand new body, and what finally felt somewhat back to normality and I thought this, THIS is what will make me happy.
And don’t get me wrong it completely boosted my confidence, but happy? i’m not so sure that’s how I felt. But I felt a shift so much so to the point that when I was about 20, I came up with the concept that I wanted to create a community for women around self-love, however...
The truth was, I still spent so much time obsessing over my body image, constantly criticising myself, chasing happiness & success, working so hard in my studies - to still never feel enough. I had poor sleep, a poor relationship with my food, and I spent the following years in the same thought loops, in an ‘all or nothing’ trap, the same negative patterns which led me into un-serving situations all because I didn’t believe I was enough. I even got the degree, I got a high-paying job, I moved out - I had everything I worked so hard for, yet I still was unfulfilled, stuck, lost and didn’t love who I was.
No matter what I did, I was still chasing that feeling of fulfilment, you know, that one we’re all looking for? The feeling of ‘Ah ha, this is what life is all about’.
After being in my corporate job for 6 months I just knew it wasn’t for me. So, in 2020 I started to make changes to my future (podcasts became my saving grace) and my wellbeing certainly improved. But, it wasn’t until the universe gave me one last wakeup call in October 2022 that changed everything.
My story…
A year into my second career as a teacher (and struggling with it), back in with parents after navigating a whole different part of my life that was completely unexpected, I really felt like i’d failed. I was burnt out, stuck, and I had no sense of direction. I had lost a lot of weight, I was the smallest i’d been in years, but was completely unhealthy in my mind & emotions. At the time, teaching felt really difficult and I couldn’t see a future in it. I was so disconnected from who I was at all angles.
But I always had this niggle about starting that community. I’ve studied business since I was 14 and my entrepreneurial mind was obsessed at trying to find an answer to create something. But, I’d tried make-up artistry, independent travel agency and it just didn’t stick. I knew I had this idea for a community, but I just didn’t know how I was going to get there - but there was a moment where I just said to myself “i’m going to do whatever it takes and figure it out along the way”. I took my personal development up a notch and really found what it meant to connect to your mind, body and soul - things really and I mean really started to shift.
I fixed my sleep, I got into better routines, I understood my thought patterns, I managed my energy better, I regulated my nervous system, I found balance in my life, I communicated boundaries, I stopped people pleasing, I healed my relationship with food, and I certainly felt way more me again and that vision was now ever clearer - I knew I needed to start somewhere and just not give up.
I decided I really needed space to figure things out and what that looked like, and went travelling for 9 months - (for the most part I spent in Bali!) Where I did what I really needed to do, which was focus on healing, self-worth and find my direction.
& that's exactly what happened. I landed back in the UK 9 months later and all the penny’s dropped, the stars aligned - my vision felt clearer than ever and after a rocky ride, I felt a new level of internal peace that I hadn’t ever felt before. I gained my certification in Reiki Seichem (energy healing), meditation teaching, I started a MSc in Psychology of Mental Health and Wellbeing, and continuing to undertake courses that strengthen my credibility in mental fitness and emotional health. I returned back to teaching knowing that it is part of my purpose for now, whilst I work on my own way of serving the world. I had a completely new outlook on everything, my home, my life, but most importantly - myself.
I really learned what it meant to love who you are and I realised why it took nearly 5 years for this space to come into fruition - because I had to do all of the internal work to truly understand what self-love meant. I no longer compare myself to everyone, I no longer allow my physical appearance to stop me, I take action on the life I want, and I truly truly understand that I am worthy simply by being who I am. I finally got out of my head, and into my life.
The SHARE Circle community is the concept I started to create at the age of 22 whilst on my kitchen island during lockdown I created a website called Mine&Me. Over the past 5 years everything I’ve learned has brought me to this moment and I have now created a space that is so much better than the younger me could ever imagined. It’s a space that I needed, still need, and will always need. Along with having the knowledge and credibilities to support other people 1-1 with their internal struggles.
You don’t need to go to Bali to heal, but you do need to know that you really can’t love your life, if you don’t learn to love who you are first - and you can do that wherever you are when you have the right spaces that support you into getting there. All you need is the desire to change and the right tools. You have to chase after what you want, not what society wants, and you have to put your mental and emotional wellbeing at the forefront in your lifestyle in order to actually accept yourself. The reality of getting to this place in my work wasn’t the operation itself, it was acceptance of who I really am, the re-wiring of my un-serving belief systems, and learning to lead myself in a way that is right for me.
Not only did this work heal my relationship with my physical appearance and relationship with my weight, now, I truly am on my path of purpose in my work, I feel fulfilled and energised by what I do, and really do love who I am. I want nothing more than to help others get to the same place too, and it is my life’s mission to bring forward this work to the places that need it most - so, come along for the journey of this movement.
& welcome to Mine&Me, the place where you can feel safe enough to say that this life, this body, is mine & this is me.
Love and light,
Amb x
